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Author Topic: Serellye Eldaren  (Read 786 times)

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Offline Serellye Eldaren

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Serellye Eldaren
« on: October 03, 2016, 02:04:49 AM »
Name: Serellye Eldaren

Race: High Elf

Origin Highwood of the Kingdom of Elentari

Age:127

Gender: Female

Alignment: Neutral Good

Affliction:
Serellye suffers from bouts of prolonged sadness. This has the tendency to affect her everyday life and self-care. Similar to depression but not severe enough to be labeled such. Serellye also has a mild form of obsessive compulsive disorder.

Occupation:
Serellye follows in the footsteps of her mother, studying to become a master elementalist and ranger/guardian. She has no formal occupation and chooses to live off the land, often spending long periods of time in the Westwoods of the Elentari Woodlands, accepting jobs as people offer.

Posessions:
A gift from her mother, Serellye carries a longbow which she had refashioned to fit her height and grip. The bow is wooden in the shape of a stylized W (two crescents connected by a smaller crescent). The middle crescent and the extreme ends of the bow, is made of polished, lightweight steel and displays her family’s crest: an owl surround by swirling winds. According to the stories Serellye was told, the bow had been in her family for many centuries before being handed down her mother and now to her.

Serellye also received Aronore, a double-edged, double-sided swordspear. The blade is dark, polished steel, about seven feet from tip to tip. In order to wield the weapon, one must be instructed by the weapon’s previous owner due to the tendrils of sharpened steel entwined around its handle in the center. As Serellye did not have this opportunity, she does not use the swordspear often—only in great need and suffering her own bodily harm.

Solsal is a stallion that was to be killed, by humans, because of its broken leg. Serellye rescued the beast and used her healing spell to nurse it back to health. Solsal is a strong companion with black and white tobiano coloring.

Appearance:
Serellye takes after her mother in that she would be consider beautiful. Serellye has the same head of full silvery white hair though she has opted to keep it dreadlocked and adorned with some jewelry. Her olive toned skin has no blemish or scars noticeable to the naked eye. Serellye has a lean frame, 5’8.75’’ and 165 lbs. Years of hard work and discipline has gifted her with a femininely muscular frame and slightly calloused hands. Her doe shaped eyes are bright with a rose tone and she wears a tint of mauve on her lips.

Serellye most often wears midnight purple, full body leather armor. It has a high collar, so as to protect her neck. The garb is fitted, hugging her curves and allowing for ease of movement. She also wears, as is appropriate, a deep gray, fur lined, hooded cloak. The cloak reaches down to the back of knees and Is easily tucked behind her shoulders should the need arise. A wide, black leather belt sits low on her hips. Pouches for various items are attached to the inside of the belt. Serellye wears dark boots that stop just below her knees. The right boot contains sewn in pockets for carrying various items.  The left boot houses a hidden panel where she carries her grandfather’s dagger, a prize that was left to Serellye when her mother cut it out of the hand of the cinnamon scented drow who murdered her family when she was very young.

When not travelling, Serellye wears the long flowing dress and robes most common to elves.

Personality:
Serellye has periods of aloofness when she prefers to be alone and, less often, periods of time where she welcomes the company of others. She often seems angry and comes across as intimidating but can be quite friendly when placed at ease. Serellye enjoys nature, often losing herself in the majesty of the One God’s creation. This is a source of contention for those who know her as she may be in the middle of a conversation—a sentence even—and her attention is diverted by the beautiful night sky or a patch of purple wildflowers growing in the hard crags of a rock face.

Serellye values hard work and has an innate thirst for knowledge. Though she never met her mother, Serellye has managed to learn many of her mother’s old elemental spells, fighting stances and moves. She has also started to learn how to wield Aronore, her mother’s swordspear that is specially designed to harm those who simply hold it incorrectly. Serellye will follow the wise and experienced, willingly learning from them in an effort to better herself. She often seeks constructive criticism and feedback, acting upon that information that she views to be in her best interest.

As her mother before her, Serellye is fiercely loyal and deeply respectful of nature and the One God.

Goals:
Serellye seeks to learn more of the mother she’s never known but through stories and tales from those who lived, traveled and fought with her. Serellye understands that her mother was—and still is—well respected within the elven community and she has that mantle to carry. Serellye, however, desires to become her own person and make a name for herself that engender both fear and respect.

Skills & Abilities:
Expert use of longbow and arrows. Serellye has a high accuracy rate in hitting a target, stationary or moving, within a reasonable distance.
Expert ranger skills. Serellye can survive in the wilderness with minimal strain.
Learned in agility and acrobatics/tumbling.
Novice in wielding her mother’s swordspear. Historically, this weapon has been passed down through the generations and its previous owner must instruct the current owner on its use. The previous owner, Serellye’s mother, died before she could train her daughter but left many personal journals that explain its use. As a result, progress on learning the use of the swordspear is very slow.
Expert in healing spells.
Novice to intermediate in offensive and defensive spells.
Intermediate in wielding a long sword. With continued use and training, improvement can be gained.
Learned in woodcutting and blacksmithing. Mainly to make her own bows & arrows, care for her horses, etc.
Learned in beast mastery. After a long time living in the wilderness, Serellye is able to commune with certain wild animals.

Magic:
Note: Serellye is a novice at all mixed spells intermediate at single spells, and expert at healing spells. All spells were learned from her mother’s journal. In order to perfect them, Serellye will have to find a teacher. Were she to attempt the use of mixed magic without the proper tutelage, Serellye would leave herself weak, spent, and without defense. Her life energy would be drained and she’d find herself knocking upon death’s door. Currently, the only spells that do not harm her are healing and unmixed spells.

Control of main elements: Water, fire, earth, air, order, chaos.

The following list consists of the main spells her mother used. Serellye wishes to learn this powerful attacks and aids.

All unmixed magic can be cast instantaneously to less than a minute depending on the severity of the attack. For example, if Serellye required water to douse a small fire, there is no casting time. Calling upon a flood or holding back the same would require a casting time of less than a minute. All mixed magics have a casting time of a minute to a minute and a half. Spells can be cast while Serellye continues to launch an offensive attack or defend herself against one.

Unholy Baptism: Mix of water, earth and chaos. Casting time: 1:30 minutes. This spell creates a sludge of varying thickness. Various projectiles can be created and hurled at a target, remaining viscous or hardened into a solid object.
Terra Flare: Mix of fire and earth/water. Casting time: 1:15 minutes. This spell is similar to Unholy Baptism but creates burning earth, similar to lava. This can also remain viscous or solidified and used offensively.
Wind’s Conflagration: Mix of fire, wind, and chaos. Casting time: 1: 20 minutes. By removing all moisture from the air or an object, this spell can cause spontaneous combustion.
Zephyr’s Edge: Single element of wind. Casting time: 0:20 minutes. With this spell, wind can be used offensively, creating hurricane force gales to powerful tornadoes.
Elixir Vitae: (Healing) Mix of order and any other element except for chaos. Casting time: 0:20 minutes. This spell can heal any open wound, injury or remove an illness. Elixir Vitae can also restore lost energy, eliminating weariness. It does not have the ability to regenerate missing limbs.
Ascension: Single element of wind. Casting time: 0:25 minutes. With this spell, the caster may levitate and use the winds to move forward and backward. This is not flying but more of gliding.

Strengths:
Social: Serellye would prefer to be alone the majority of her time, communing with nature. She does display an outgoing nature around friendly company. This allows her a heightened sense of discernment while collecting allies along her travels. Her silence may come across as arrogance but it is in those time when she feels the most overwhelmed with social interaction and needs to recharge, alone. Serellye uses her silence as a method to keep others talking while she sums up their intelligence, abilities, etc.

Career: Serellye is quite adept at surviving in the wilderness and she will use those skills to accompany travelers through the woods or assist in some other task. In this way she has received compensation to use to procure items not naturally found in the wilderness. Before spending an extended amount of time in a city, Serellye is sure to stock up on supplies and money as earning a living, there, would be difficult. She is open to performing odd jobs as gainful employment.

Racial: As a quintessential high elf, Serellye is proud, intelligent and possesses a sharp wit. She has heightened senses and moves with the grace and agility befitting her race.

Combat: Serellye has mastered the use of her longbow and gain much experience using unmixed spells. Like her mother before her, she is relentless with regards to learning new skills and is able to implement them almost immediately. Serellye has great muscle memory and, with the aid of her stamina and spells, is able to heal quickly, enabling her to last longer in the heat of a battle.

Intelligence: Serellye has inherited the intelligence of her race. She has a natural thirst for knowledge and does not rest until she has perfected a craft. Serellye focuses on more than pursuit at a time, preferring gaining general knowledge, and combat skills training. Her combat training would include researching her mother’s journals for instruction on Aronore, spell casting, and seeking out a trainer to master her offensive and defensive skills with her weapons—save the swordspear—and in hand-to-handcombat.

Weaknesses:
Social: Serellye enjoys being alone, often missing out on developing deep relationships. She may come across as arrogant and intimidating.

Career: Aside from picking up a random job as they happen upon her, Serellye has no real way to make money. She has experienced cold, hungry nights when all that remained were meager portions and the forest refused to give up its bounty.

Racial: Serellye’s wit often causes her trouble among foreigners as well as her own people. Unlike her mother before her, Serellye more often speaks without thinking of the final outcome her words may cause.

Combat: Though Serellye is an expert and ranged attacks, were a battle to become close-ranged, she would certainly be lacking. There are no situations where she would not be able to use her ranged attacks. She has mastered this skill but is always open to learning anything new.

Intelligence: Serellye may come across as arrogant because of her confidence in her knowledge. Any gaps in her knowledge come from areas she has devoted her time to. For example, Serellye doesn’t know very much about her people and all their customs. Once she does commit to learning, she does not effectively. Serellye’s retention is high.

History:

The cinnamon scented drow.

This figure means all and nothing to Serellye. This drow was destroyed by Serellye’s mother who, in turn, suffered a wound she could not heal from. In the end, though Serellye mother’s finally received her long sought after revenge, she did not live long enough to benefit from its fruits.

A mother she never met and a father she knows nothing about.

Serellye’s father is even more mysterious than imagined. As the stories are told, Serellye’s mother and this high elf often travelled through Entar, seeking whatever adventure they could. At some point, these travelling companions became something more and conceived a child. This high elf disappeared before learning of his child birth and his love’s death. He is believed to be dead but this has never been confirmed.

An orphan.

She walks the earth alone, preferring the quiet companionship of nature and animals. Serellye often feels as if she has no purpose and struggles to find the meaning for her presence in the world. Does she return to her mother land and fight for her rightful position as the head of the Council of the Twelve? Does she search for her father and make peace with him and her mother’s memory? Does she seek adventure, throwing her worries into intrigue and battle? With the questions that plague her, Serellye remains content spending her days in silent solitude, ignoring the cares of the world around her, surfacing only to hone her current skills and satisfy her desire of learning.

Perhaps she will never know peace.

Then she hears of a high elf who travelled with the silver haired high elf who destroyed the demons of Khalor, survived The Pit, travelled through Andune and Nijon, joined the Hunt for the Briar Patch Beast, and fought a most powerful witch among many other things. With information this detailed, Serellye is almost certain that this high elf—her mother travelling companion—must be her father. Is she truly destined to follow in her mother’s footsteps in this way? Spending her days chasing after an elusive figure only to finally capture it and die? For Serellye, there is no question.


« Last Edit: October 26, 2016, 06:15:10 AM by Serellye Eldaren »

Offline Davin Ragal

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Re: Serellye Eldaren
« Reply #1 on: October 05, 2016, 03:53:04 AM »
Apologies for the length of time on this review.  I have only read about half, and other development work has taken away my time.  With much hope I will have a critique or verdict tomorrow

Offline Davin Ragal

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Re: Serellye Eldaren
« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2016, 01:04:54 AM »
Ok, so finally got through all but the history.  Here are my comments so far:

More of a question: Would you say her affliction if different from depression?

This is more a comment than any requirement for a change, as I find the description a little confusing.  The shape of the bow being W shaped?  Is it a curved W, sort of like this: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e5/Hun_bow.jpg

Again that is more just clarification for me, as I think I understand what you mean.

In the personality you talk about the One God?  Is this a deity within the Eldanar Pantheon?  If so which one.  If not realize that while she is free to worship any entity as a God, it will currently hold no sway in the Eldanar Pantheon (and as such you will not really meet other believers, be able to draw any power or ability from the God etc).

Related to the above, YHWH? Is this an acronym?  If so please elaborate on it.

I would like to see a little more on two of the skills, namely the swordspear and longsword.  More so the former.  You previously mention that the only way to learn the swordspear is to be taught by the previous owner.  Does this mean one can become a novice with it, but never advance beyond this, or can one actually learn given time?  Just a couple of sentences description for the close combat skills would be appreciated.

The reason I do not ask for that for the magic is that that has its own section, which I have comments on.

I would like to see a little more elaboration on both the unmixed and mixed elemental magic.  For the unmixed, do you have some examples of spells, we do not need to have every possible spell, but an idea of some would be nice to give us an example.

For both, I would like to see a little more detail, not much.  Just a rough idea of casting times, like is there a spell she can throw off almost instantaneously, is there a spell that takes some significant time to cast.  What do the spells do?  This kind of info gives fellow RPers an idea of what to expect.  Generally magic takes a toll on the user, whether it be through a pool of magical energy or otherwise.  I don't mind if this is kept a little vague until you have felt out your magic system, but it is nice to have an idea of how much each spell might take its toll on Serellye, it also reinforces that you understand that she can't just constantly be casting spells without any drawback.  Sort of like she will get more fatigued the more she uses her longbow.  The above applies to healing magic, if you have them in a separate section or not.

In terms of strengths and weaknesses, you have a solid ground work.  I would prefer to see a little more info, but I also accept that these are honed in RP and often revisited later.  However, a little more info here will go a long way:

I would like to see a little more on the following (Not much, in some cases elaboration, in others extra):
  • Social Strength: Maybe you can explain this with a little more elaboration, but I do not really see this much as a strength.  Perhaps her silence can be percieved as her being a good listener?   Perhaps her temperament is a benefit, as she appears quiet and calm, which can be seen as confidence in certain situations.  That being said, you don't HAVE to have any social strengths, but if you do we need a bit more info.
  • Career Strengths & Weaknesses: I am fine with this, it is concise, but in a good way.  Just some food for thought, how would her career fare in a city setting.  Would she be able to still track, just in a more limited sense?
  • Racial Strengths: Nothing wrong here, just another note.  We no longer require that you have this section, unless you have something that affects only your race, but is not inherent to the race.  It is safe to assume that all High Elves have the inherent strengths and weaknesses of the High Elves
  • Combat Strengths: Minor note, perhaps say she has mastered the use of the longbow.  Perfected implies there is nothing new to learn, and there is always something new to learn.
  • Intelligence Strengths: Just a little elaboration.  Does she have specific areas that she thirsts for knowledge over others?  You might feel it need not be said, but its good to be explicit.  Is it the obvious? Nature, Elemental magic etc, or are there other things, does she actively seek out lore of the land, or have a passion for myths?
  • Social Weaknesses: While brief, I think this is fine.  You will likely elaborate on this as you RP and enhance you character sheet as you go.
  • Career Weaknesses: Again, this seems fine to me, though you may want to tie in my suggestions in the strengths.
  • Combat Weaknesses: Perhaps a little more info here.  Are there any situations in ranged combat where she may be at a disadvantage?  Such as darkness, or if you took her out of nature and put her in an underground environment or a city?
  • Intelligence Weaknesses: Again just a little more.  Are there particular gaps in her knowledge?

I realize Strengths and Weaknesses are likely the hardest question.  We no longer require balance in everything, just more a respectful balance.  With a little more info, I think this character sheet will be ready for approval.  The History is a little brief, but again, this is one thing more than anything that is developed with RP, whether it be RP history or additional insights into the characters past.

I apologize if this seems like a lot, but a lot of the text is my suggestions, and the changes required are just a couple of clarifications and a bit of expansion in areas
« Last Edit: October 08, 2016, 01:08:25 AM by Davin Ragal »

Offline Serellye Eldaren

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Re: Serellye Eldaren
« Reply #3 on: October 15, 2016, 06:21:40 AM »
I believe I've responded to all your notes.

I apologize for the late reply. RL strikes again...experienced a loss of a loved on and now the husband is in the hospital as well.

Offline Davin Ragal

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Re: Serellye Eldaren
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2016, 10:17:13 PM »
Hi Serellye,

Let me first off say, I am sorry to hear about your recent struggles, and I hope the best for the future.

In terms of the app, I am happy with the changes thus far.

Not to labor it further, but you did not address my comments on the One God etc.

I do not mean to make assumptions, but if YHWH is the tetragrammaton way of Yahweh, I have to point out that under our rules at HR, we could not allow this.  While we allow similarities to the real world in HR, our land is meant to be fantastical both in the nature of the literature and the escapism it provides.  As such, we will never discriminate anyone who has strong political or religious beliefs in the real world, but as the characters and RP goes in HR, it must stay true to the setting, including the pantheon.  This helps us create a neutral environment where all can play.

Otherwise, as per my comments, as far as I can see this is the only remaining issue on the character application
« Last Edit: October 16, 2016, 10:32:59 PM by Davin Ragal »

Offline Serellye Eldaren

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Re: Serellye Eldaren
« Reply #5 on: October 17, 2016, 12:28:21 AM »
Thanks for your kind words and the feedback.

Initially, I did not respond because I thought that if she was not gaining any physical/etc power from her interactions, then it wouldn't be an issue. I changed YHWH to "the unknown God".

Offline Zyrphath

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Re: Serellye Eldaren
« Reply #6 on: October 17, 2016, 11:37:01 AM »
My condolences as well.

I just wanted to pop in with a small clarification: your character may believe in anything you want them to, one exception being items that either stem directly from the real world or holds some cultural importance. This means no one may introduce or believe in any god from "our" world (whether it's Yahweh, Thor or Shiva), as well as other items like Santa Clause or the Big Bang theory.

So while you are entirely free to make up some god for your character to believe in but not gain any power from, it cannot be the abrahamic god. That being said, it does not have to be an unknown god--you can make up as much or as little about this god as you desire, as long as it is either your own creation or some creation that already exists on Hidden Realms.
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Offline Davin Ragal

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Re: Serellye Eldaren
« Reply #7 on: October 18, 2016, 01:06:08 AM »
Ok, well I am happy with the changes thus far, and not to labor the issue, as Zyr and I have both made notes on it, but I just want to make clear that we respect all creeds and religions, but at HR we try and keep the fantasy world separate from our creation.

The only further thing I would ask, as I missed this last time, can you just give a brief description of what the spells do?  Like "Shoots a directed fireball", "Heals minor wounds" etc.  With that I am happy to approve this application, and look forward to seeing it develop.  Once done, feel free to begin RP, I will give the official stamp when I have time, and if there are any further problems, I will contact you via PM.  Normally this would not be the case, but we are quiet right now, and I don't see any problems going forward so long as we stick to what has been mentioned in review.

I hope things get better in RL for you
« Last Edit: October 18, 2016, 01:11:40 AM by Davin Ragal »

Offline Serellye Eldaren

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Re: Serellye Eldaren
« Reply #8 on: October 19, 2016, 06:18:37 AM »
Hello,

Update: same situation and now a close friend's father has died, leaving her an orphan. Very, very rough week.

Okay...I completely understand your notes and respect the environment you are creating with Hidden Realms. I will keep that in mind when writing about Ellye's faith. I don't expect that I'll be posting about the history of God; it'll be more about prayers and phrases "God help me in this battle" than anything. Of course, these will increase her faith, confidence, etc. but, in following HR rules, it won't increase her dexterity, strength, etc. Changed the name to "The One God"and will keep it ambiguous so as not to confuse with RL.

Offline Serellye Eldaren

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Re: Serellye Eldaren
« Reply #9 on: October 25, 2016, 04:50:44 AM »
Has this been approved?

Offline Zyrphath

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Re: Serellye Eldaren
« Reply #10 on: October 25, 2016, 08:08:30 AM »
I will leave the final approval to Davin unless he instructs me otherwise, but I do have one question: when you say she can hit any target at any distance with her longbow, is that meant literally?
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Offline Davin Ragal

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Re: Serellye Eldaren
« Reply #11 on: October 26, 2016, 01:26:05 AM »
I must have missed the thing Zyr mentioned.  Just needs a little clarification, as she can't for example have un-dodgible accuracy.  While we are relaxing the balance in everything rule, there must be some semblance of an explanation for things like this.

Once this is addressed, consider the application APPROVED, notify me of the change and I will move this into the approved apps
« Last Edit: October 26, 2016, 01:38:02 AM by Davin Ragal »

Offline Serellye Eldaren

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Re: Serellye Eldaren
« Reply #12 on: October 26, 2016, 06:15:47 AM »
I've made the change!

Offline Zyrphath

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Re: Serellye Eldaren
« Reply #13 on: October 27, 2016, 09:03:17 PM »
Congratulations on the approval. :)
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